Time Gifting

My visits to the terminals:
family, friends and relations,
were never acutely aware of
the microseconds, the moments,
the minutes, the hours
day and night, awake, aware,
abandoned, afraid and alone.

The need, nay, the craving for
respect, affection, and dignity
are all sublimated by “duty”
and the ministrations of the
DOCTOR’S ORDERS. Having
been a more conventional
statistic, I can say that this
catagory sucks!!!

Being ignored, talked over,
overlooked and filled with
politely smiled empty promises,
provides this living
mausoleum with the
atmosphere of a behind
the counter butcher shop
rearrranging the carcasses.

Being left naked while
a parade of aides file through,
to stop and discuss their
needs for other patients,
as well as the daily gossip,
has stripped away any
pretense of recognition
as a human being.

Being a slab of meat
annointed three times
a day with soap and water,
meets the coded requirements
of the county and state
while sorely missing
“human contact” but is
still considered humane.

If it weren’t for the infrequent
ANGELS who visit as workers,
family and friends, “hell”
would be a polite description
and “purgatory” a visit to a
country club. And yes I know
it can always get worse!
It has and does, just not
yet spoken.

What I’ve come to regret
was my continued neglect
of the human beings left
to their own devices when
my discomfort or convenience
would not allow the “grace”
necessary for the other
person’s solace and comfort.

Insight becomes a burden
when guilt invades our space.
“Being” with someone else
and their anguish and
uncertainty requires a
personal harmony I
only see when LOVE
is truly present.

I ask forgiveness for my
trespasses over and through
my own heart, let alone,
all the others I’ve managed
to dent, crumple, damage,
crush, void, spindle, harm
or hurt. I’m also aware of
too little, too late.

Embi 4/11/14

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